Gifts for Couples: 10 Ideas That Are More Than a Thing

A good gift for a couple is one the two of them use together. A vase ends up in a cupboard sooner or later, but an evening where two people talk about something new sticks. Every one of the ten ideas below says which kind of couple it suits.

Before you pick: three quick questions

Gifts for couples are harder than gifts for one person. You have to hit two tastes, plus whatever the two of them are together. Before you scroll through lists, take a look at the couple itself.

• What do the two of them do on a weekend when nobody makes plans for them? Hike, cook, sleep in, have friends over?
• Do they live together, or does one of them head back to their own place on Sunday evening?
• Do they have time, or are they in the middle of a move, the first year with a baby, exam stress?

Someone with no time won't be happy about an experience with three appointments. Someone who already has everything won't be happy about one more thing. The answers sort the list for you.

The 10 best gifts for couples

1. A cooking class for two

An evening where both learn something they can cook again at home afterwards. Choose a cuisine the two of them liked on vacation or have never tried. What matters: classes nearby, on a weeknight or a Saturday, with a fixed date rather than an open voucher.

Fits if they like food and still have energy in the evening.

2. A jar of date ideas

A mason jar with twenty or thirty folded slips of paper, each with an idea for an evening or a Sunday. Mix small things ("Pizza on the balcony, phones in the hallway") with bigger ones ("A day in the next town neither of you knows"). The trick is to write ideas that suit this couple and not a stock photo. If you run out of ideas, you'll find plenty in our date ideas.

Fits if the couple is stuck in a routine and asks "What shall we do tonight?" more often than they'd like.

3. A card game with questions

Question cards get two people talking who think they already know everything about each other. They come in many styles, from silly to deep. Make sure the game fits the couple: someone who has been together for ten years doesn't need get-to-know-you questions. More on what matters with games like this is in our guide to a card game for couples.

Fits if they love to chat, but in daily life talk about schedules more than about themselves.

4. A night somewhere nearby

Not a long-haul flight, but a cabin, a B&B or a small hotel an hour's drive away. The gift isn't the room, it's that somebody else has already done the planning. Check the date with one of them beforehand, or the surprise will clash with a friend's wedding.

Fits if the two of them haven't been away as a pair for a long time, for instance because kids or work fill everything.

5. A photo book with one line per picture

Collect photos of the two of them, and ask friends and family for pictures the couple doesn't have themselves. Under each photo goes one line: where, when, what happened in that moment. The lines are what makes it different from an album you just flip through.

Fits if you know the two of them well or can ask a few people who do.

6. An experience that's new to both

A dance class, climbing, a pottery evening, a canoe trip. An unusual gift for couples is often one where both start out equally clumsy. If one of them already knows the hobby, it's more of a tutoring session for the other than an evening together.

Fits if the couple is curious and can laugh at themselves.

7. Tickets to a concert or a game

Sounds simple, and it is. The trick is in the choice: the band the two of them played constantly at the start of their relationship, or the team one of them has loved since childhood and the other now cheers on too.

Fits if you know their taste rather than guess it.

8. A shared ritual instead of an object

Some couples have everything you can buy. What's missing is time for each other that doesn't disappear by itself. You can give a ritual if you make it tangible: a notebook for one sentence a week that each of them writes about the other, a fixed evening each month with a voucher for the babysitter, a Sunday walk with a question to answer along the way. You'll find ideas for habits like this in our guide to relationship rituals for couples.

Us2 is a ritual of this kind too. Two people get a question every day, each answers it separately, and you only see the other's answer once you've handed in your own. You can't give the app as a gift, but you can show it to the two of them and hand them a first question on the spot.

Fits if the couple has everything except peace and quiet.

9. A dinner you cook

Invite the two of them and cook something they wouldn't make for themselves. Write a little card with the three courses. If they have kids, the biggest gift is sometimes the babysitter you arrange right along with it, so they can really come.

Fits if you're friends and the couple rarely gets invited because everyone assumes they have no time.

10. A voucher with a date

A voucher is only a good gift if it has a date on it. "Voucher for an evening" ends up in a drawer. "Saturday, March 14, 7 pm, table for two at your favorite restaurant, kids are with me" ends up in the calendar. What goes on the voucher is almost beside the point once the date is there.

Fits if you're sure what the two of them like but can't find anything to wrap.

A jar of questions, if you want it personal

If you want a gift that costs little and sets a lot in motion, combine ideas 2 and 3: a jar of questions instead of date ideas. Each evening one of the two draws a slip. A few examples that work well:

• How can you tell I'm having a bad day before I say anything?
• If we had a band together, what would it be called and what would we play?
• What did you imagine being a grown-up would be like when you were a kid?
• Which evening with me turned out better than you expected?
• What do you want to do for the first time next year?
• Which sound in our home do you like best?

Write down twenty or thirty of these, a mix of funny and more serious ones.

What to skip with gifts for couples

• Matching couple shirts and decor with both names. Some people like that. Most couples you don't know very well, don't.
• A gift only one of them uses. The power drill for him is a gift for him, not for the couple.
• An experience with a fixed date during a full phase of life. A spa weekend soon after a baby arrives is more pressure than break if nobody is there to look after the child.
• Relationship advice books. A book on how to save a relationship says something you probably don't want to say.

How much should a gift for a couple cost?

There's no right number. For weddings and big anniversaries many people chip in together, and for a dinner invitation a small thing is enough. More important than the price is whether the gift shows you thought of exactly these two. A jar with thirty handwritten ideas costs next to nothing and often gets kept longer than the pricey set from the department store.

If the gift is for you and your own partner, for an anniversary say, take a look at our guide to anniversary gifts. It covers ideas for him and for her.

And if you're the couple who would like to really talk more often: Us2 gives you a question every day that each of you answers on your own first. The first three days are free without payment details, on your phone or in the browser.