Couples Quiz: How Well Do You Know Me? 30 Questions

A couples quiz works like this: one person answers questions about themselves, and the other guesses what they would say. Whoever is right gets a point. Below you'll find thirty "how well do you know me" questions, a scoring system and a few rules that make sure you end up laughing and nobody sits sulking on the sofa.

How to play the couples quiz

You need two slips of paper, two pens and about half an hour.

1. Agree on who is the "main person" first. The main person thinks of the answer to each question without saying it, and writes it down face down.
2. The other person writes down what they guess.
3. You both reveal at the same time.
4. Compare and give points (see below).
5. After ten questions, you swap roles.

That way you each get the same number of turns, and nobody can change their answer afterwards.

Giving points

The simplest version: one point if the answer is right at its core. If someone guesses "pasta" and the answer is "spaghetti carbonara", that counts, otherwise you'll just argue about nitpicking.

A bit finer works like this:

• 2 points for an answer that hits exactly.
• 1 point for "almost": the right direction, but not quite.
• 0 points for missing.
• Bonus point if someone can also tell the story that goes with the right answer.

At the end, don't count the total, use it as a reason to talk. Someone with 12 out of 20 points doesn't know the other badly. Someone who gets annoyed at wrong answers has just learned something new. There's no pass mark here and no study that says how many points make a relationship good. The quiz only shows you what you currently know about each other.

If you like playing with a winner: the loser plans the evening, cooks or decides next weekend. Stakes without punishment.

One tip up front: it's best not to play after a fight or when one of you is tired. A quiz lives on good mood. A glass of wine or tea, something to nibble on and a quiet evening are enough as a setting. If you want to play with three or four people, say with friends who are a couple, the same principle works, except each person guesses about their own partner.

How well do you know me: everyday questions

These questions are easy and good for getting started.

1. What's my favorite food when I need something quick?
2. How do I take my coffee or tea?
3. What's the first thing I do when I wake up in the morning?
4. Which show have I most enjoyed watching lately?
5. What's my favorite place in our town?
6. What drives me up the wall fastest in daily life?
7. Which song will I definitely sing along to?
8. What's my typical sentence when I'm tired?
9. Which shop do I never leave empty-handed?
10. Which drink makes for a really good evening for me?

How well do you know me: questions about the past

Here it's worth telling a short story after the answer.

11. Where did I like to play most as a kid?
12. Which subject at school did I really dislike?
13. What was my first career wish?
14. What's the oldest memory I've told you about?
15. Who shaped me most in my teens?
16. What was my most embarrassing moment that I've told you about?
17. Which trip will stay in my head forever?
18. Which decision in my life am I especially proud of?
19. Which smell instantly reminds me of my childhood?
20. Which toy did I never give up back then?

How well do you know me: wishes and feelings

A bit deeper. If you don't know, you may guess and then ask.

21. What do I have the most respect for at the moment?
22. What would I do if I weren't afraid of failing?
23. What do I need after a really bad day: quiet, talking or distraction?
24. What am I looking forward to most right now?
25. Which trait of mine do I like least myself?
26. When do I feel especially loved by you?
27. Which wish for the next five years is close to my heart?
28. What do I wish I got more recognition for?
29. What would I do with a free day when nobody wants anything from me?
30. Where would I like to be in ten years?

With questions 21 to 30 the game can change. If someone doesn't know an answer, they haven't done anything wrong. Here you can keep talking without points. Ask a follow-up instead of correcting. More deep questions for moments like this are in our deep conversation questions.

Rules to keep it fun

Answers stand. If someone says their favorite food is pizza, then it is. No discussion about whether it used to be different.

Answer honestly, not cleverly. Whoever picks an answer so the other can't possibly guess it spoils the game.

Missing is allowed. If someone doesn't know something, it isn't an accusation. Next time they will.

No holding it against each other. What comes out in the quiz stays in the quiz. "You don't even know what my favorite food is" is no argument for a fight the next day.

Debrief briefly afterwards. Talk for five minutes: which answer surprised you? What have you been meaning to ask for a long time?

Variations if you've played a lot

Blind version. Both write down the answer for themselves and the answer for the other at the same time. Then you compare four slips.

Timed version. The answer has to be down within ten seconds. That makes it louder and faster, but less deep.

Shared version. You write a quiz about yourselves as a couple: when did we first see each other? What was our first meal? What song was playing at our first kiss? That brings up old memories. More ideas for memories and questions around getting to know each other are in our get to know you questions for couples.

For couples apart. The quiz works on the phone too. You write down the answers, guess and read them out at the same time. Tips for distance are in long distance relationship tips.

Making up your own questions

The best thing about this game is that it adapts to you. Here's how to build new questions:

• Take something you've discovered about the other in recent weeks and turn it into a question.
• Ask for details, not categories. "What's my favorite food?" is okay, "Which dish do I cook when I want to impress someone?" is better.
• Mix light and personal questions. Three light ones, then a deep one.
• Write down questions you couldn't answer yourselves. Those are the most exciting.

When you notice you don't know much

That happens often and it isn't a bad sign. After some years you believe you know the other, and you stop asking. Then answers go out of date without anyone noticing. The quiz is a friendly way to update them.

If you want to turn this into a habit without making up questions each time, Us2 gives you a question every day for both of you. You answer separately and only see the other's answer once you've answered yourself. It's basically a mini quiz in daily life: you see how close or far apart your answers are, and talk about it.

What you can take away

A couples quiz is a game, not a test. It's meant to show you what you know about each other and make you curious about what's missing. Play ten questions, swap roles, then talk for five minutes about the biggest surprise. If you laughed while doing it, it was good.

For anyone who wants to make more of it, there's Us2: one question a day, answered separately, then discussed together. The first three days are free.